Reliving my 20s…

Log # 8

Any other 40 year old pick a fight with some 20 year old’s in a parking lot after a Drag show this weekend? No? Just me? Are you even living? Over the last year, I have quit my career of 20 years, enrolled in college & after a year of grieving over my daughter(again, not dead, just estranged), | decided it’s time to get out on the town once in awhile. I always said when my daughter grew up I was going to try & figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I joked around about living the youth I missed out on because I had a daughter so young. Over the weekend, myself, & a few of my favourite ladies decided to attend the local drag show. What a great show! If you’ve never seen drag… Go! But, I think maybe I should’ve started slower though, a coffee shop with a friend, a farmers market, a garage sale maybe, home depot, because after the show, at two in the morning, i went full on trailer trash. Face…Palm… &, I was sober! I’m not sure if that’s worse or better. Now, there is a back story, it wasn’t exactly a spontaneous brawl. As mentioned before, my daughter hasn’t spoken to me in about a year, her ‘best friend’ happened to be at this same drag show. A little while ago this young girl made the decision to ‘attack’ me on social media after I reached out to her in hopes to see how my daughter was doing. & in doing so, I was disrespected, lied to, gaslit & still lost. What the fuck… I’m waiting for the frontal lobes to develop before i ask again… Now, It’s a small town, people run into each other, but as an adult, i figured ‘hey, we’re here to support pride, no drama necessary’ & avoided them all night. I assumed they were doing the same because no one approached me. After the show, i was hugging some people goodbye & headed home. & then, my daughters bestfriend has a girlfriend who just started flipping me off & swearing at me, i shook my head, rolled my eyes & I’m totally a grown up so, whatever, i walked away, got in my car & drove home. Now, it somewhat bothers me that kids these days hide behind these screens & think they can say whatever they want & there’s no consequences & i thought to myself, when will i get the chance to talk to these girls again face to face & just have a mature conversation, no screens. I turned around & drove back. In my actual youth, i was pretty scrappy & as I approached the stairs where they sat, all of these things started to bubble up in my gut. I happen to really enjoy confrontation, & that excited feeling i get during a little squabble started to take over & I suddenly wanted to see what they would do or say if i was two inches from their face… I said words, not a hundred percent sure what they were… I do remember swearing at my ‘ex-sister-mom’ (the mother of my daughters ‘best friend’), who was, of course, partying with her daughter that night. More than once I told my ‘ex-sister-mom’ she needed to teach her kids some respect before they lip off the wrong person & apparently this time, I was the wrong person. As things got heated, luckily, a very good friend of mine decided to get in the middle & pull me away reminding me that i would be the one who gets prison time for this offence & violence did not ensue. I want you all to know that despite coming from the trailer park, I built a life! I did all the things you’re supposed to do (except get married, cuz, ew). I was an upstanding member of society, I had a career, I bought a home! I have investments dammit! in conclusion, I’m still waiting for my face to show up on the local Facebook trash bandit page…

Side note: I wonder if it bothers the ‘best friends’ girlfriend that the ‘best friend’ has been in love with my daughter for 15 years… hoping to find out…