Dad… Log #23

The old man is extra spicy today…

It was really long past due for Dad to have a shower or bath. Things were getting pretty gross. Clothes needed washing, he’d been wearing the same things for 2 weeks & fights when I mention he change outfits. I got out of bed & did the usual morning routine. Gave him some juice to take his meds, a fresh coffee & fed him some breakfast with an ensure to wash it down. I usually get attitude when I do these things, doesn’t really bother me, no one can do anything right in the eyes of my Dad anyways so I’m pretty passive, eat it, don’t, whatever…

It really is time & long overdue, so the shower/bath fight begins…

I say “would you like a shower or bath today?”

Dad “I showered yesterday” …

Me: “ok, well, your pants are very dirty so lets get them in the laundry”

Him: “Fuck off, (insert other swears & insults) my clothes are fine” *Slams door in my face*

I proceed to run the bath & open the door…

Me: “Baths getting cold, better get in”

Dad: “I’ll bath when I fucking want too, I have my own life, fuck off, fuck you, etc, etc”

Me: “Yup, you need to change your clothes, you smell”

Dad: “Fuck you, you fucking stink, you shower”

Me: *Suppresses laughter*

Dad starts to change his clothes which is quite a process, the belt with all the knick knacks need to be played with and adjusted taken off, put on, assessed and re-assed & repeat. Then he goes to put the clean pants on, I stop him & I say “after the bath”

Dad: ” Fuck you, etc, etc, etc…” slams door in my face…

Me: Opens door again ” ok, get in the tub”

Dad: “where?”

Me: “Across the hall, throw your ginch out into the hall”

Dad: more beligerance… throws ginch out in hall & gets in tub…

I proceed to put the soiled, smelly clothes in the wash & lay out fresh pants, tshirt, sweater, underwear, socks… let Dad know i’ll be nearby if he needs anything… 20 minutes goes by… Guess who doesn’t want to get out of the tub??? 3 hours later, Dad is bathed & in clean clothes…

It’s going to be on my mind most likely for awhile & Dad is just onto the next thing like he wasn’t a complete asshole this morning, he doesn’t even remember having a bath now. I guess this is why I don’t respond with any kind of attitude or tell him to go fuck himself because really, he doesn’t even remember 10 minutes later. He plunks down in front of the TV & it’s like that entire morning never even happened. I keep trying to explain to my family why it doesn’t really bother me. It takes a lot to keep after elderly people like my Dad, but yelling back or losing my temper with someone with dementia is like throwing a cooked noodle at a dart board…

The day goes on… I take Dad for lunch…

Dad likes to order ‘Fish & Chips, No Chips’. The waitress brings his plate & guess what, the chips are there, Dad gets mad at the waitress… My very patient spouse tries explaining to Dad it’s the same price… Dad doesn’t get it… I decide to ask her to just bring a separate plate to put the fries on so I can eat them, which re-directs Dad’s assholery towards me instead of the young lady… Dad grabs the ketchup and I say “don’t put ketchup on the fries you don’t want” & Dad proceeds to put ketchup on them because I have an attitude problem & proceeds to belittle and insult me while dousing food in ketchup… Then, that mother fucker eats the fries!!!!

After that lovely lunch, I take Dad for a drive with my dogs & we just drove along like he hadn’t been a complete Jack ass while I secretly considered shoving him into a snowbank & driving away……. Don’t worry… I didn’t.

We’re back home, Dads in front of the TV again requesting I bring a beverage to him while he shows me his empty glass, empty coffee mug & empty Pepsi bottle. Yes, I see those are empty. So, I’ll oblige of course & patiently go get him some juice… Am I strongly considering serving him ice covered in ketchup? I just might…..